Forgiveness Part Two

Forgiveness Part Two

Forgiveness Part Two

 

In the last post, I talked about forgiveness. I addressed what I go through when someone has hurt me.

What about when I am the one who has hurt someone else?

Don’t leave just yet! I’m not here to point fingers and tell you anything bad. I’m going to ask that you sit with me and be honest for a few minutes.

 

We all have done the hurting. Whether it was intentional or not, we have all said things in a mean way or had a tone of voice that was unacceptable. Rude. Cruel. Mean. We have all had times when we allowed that behavior to exude from our words and actions.

I have had so many moments when I have said things that I should not have said. I argue with my husband about things that just do NOT matter. My desire in those arguments is to be RIGHT. I reject humility and grace so I can be “the winner” and RIGHT. How many times have I hurt my husband because of my lack of grace? How many times have my words cut deep into his heart? How many times?

I have moments when I lose it with my kids. I have told them what NOT to do. Yet, they do it again and again. “I TOLD you to STOP hitting your sister!” “I TOLD you to stop hitting the ball against the wall!” Those times that I have displayed my impatience, my tone of voice has hurt my children’s hearts. It wasn’t my intention to hurt them, but I did.

In these times, I have felt the guilt and regret over my actions. I have sought forgiveness. I have begged for my family to forgive me for hurting them because of my words and my actions.

We don’t only treat our friends, coworkers, family or spouse like this. That, in itself, is tragic, but it isn’t where we stop.

We give our worst to Jesus, too.

 

Think about it with all honesty.

We have days where we ignore Him.

We have days when we act like His Word isn’t important or significant in our lives.

We tell Him that His plans stink.

We tell Him that He’s not faithful, in those moments when we feel like He isn’t right there with us.

When we face hardship, we start to cry and ask why He would ever give us hardship. (Hint: to make us grow in our faith.)

We forget the horrific death Jesus died. Horrific. Death. For you. For me.

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Yet, He died for all the bad behavior that we have done. He died for the hurt that we have inflicted on others. He forgave us for every terrible act and word that we ever allowed to come from our behavior. He forgave you, me, the world.  He forgave us for hurting Him.

forgiveness2

Matthew 26:28 says, “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.”

While Jesus was still alive, He explained that His blood would be the covenant to us. Covenant is defined as an agreement. Other words could be: contract, commitment, guarantee, pledge, promise, or bond. So since Jesus stepped in and offered His blood for us, he made a contract, a promise, which would offer us forgiveness. We accept His forgiveness and should offer it to others.

Colossians 3 says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”  God forgave us before we ever thought about our sin. He offered forgiveness, deep and wide as his love. He put Himself in jail LONG before we ever committed the crime. He served the sentence meant for us.

Matthew 6:15 says, “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Mark 11:25 says, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

These verses are so hard to swallow sometimes. He tells us to forgive and let go. I imagine standing before God, asking for forgiveness and being told that I can’t have it because I didn’t offer forgiveness to others. That is heartbreaking to imagine!  We believe that Christ died for all sin and doesn’t hold it against us every time we sin, so we also need to forgive others and let go of the hurt. We have to let each day be new and full of grace. I talked more about that in the last post: Forgiveness Part One.

 

I can hear you now. “You don’t know the hurt that I have endured. You don’t know how many times that person has hurt me. I don’t want to keep forgiving them!” And I can honestly tell you that I completely understand. Offering forgiveness is difficult when you have to keep offering it over and over for the same thing.

But, here’s what Jesus said:  Luke 17:4 states, “Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”

Let me help you with a new perspective. Do you sin? Do you commit the same sin over and over throughout a day? Throughout a week? Does Jesus forgive that same sin over and over again? YES! Aren’t you so glad He does?

So, since He offers us quick and complete forgiveness, we have to turn and forgive others just as quick and complete.

 

So if you are struggling to let go today, know that it isn’t always easy, and I understand. Forgiveness can be hard. However, remember that Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice to offer forgiveness to you so that you can extend the same grace to others.

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Take time today to forgive. Forgive your spouse. Forgive your family. Forgive yourself. Write a letter telling the person you forgive them. Honestly, get it out, verbalize it somehow that you forgive, and then actively let it go. Allow the day to be new. Stop taking the hurt from one day to the next. Be new today. God allows it to you. Extend that same grace to others, especially those you love.

 

Linking up with Kelly Balarie at #RaRaLink-up.

20 Comments

  1. Well said. When we really think about what Jesus has done for us and how He forgives us, we should run to Him when we sin. We should also believe Him and learn to forgive ourselves. And, yes, forgive others even when we have to do it over and over. I appreciate your thought here. Thank you :)

    Reply
    • Thanks for reading, Gayl! You are right: We should RUN to Jesus when we sin, yet we try to hide and pretend we didn’t do anything. I imagine that it brings God great sadness when He can fix everything, but we try to fix things ourselves — especially in matters of the heart.

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  2. Oh, forgiveness. We could fill volumes of books with our experiences, good and bad, on the topic. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and giving us the chance to reflect on our own places where we need to seek forgiveness. #RaRaLinkup

    Reply
    • Stephanie, It is an almost endless topic. And my words don’t compare to so many others who are more experienced and far-wiser than I. God has been speaking to my heart about true forgiveness. And I’m glad to have learned something along the way! Thanks for reading today!

      Reply
  3. It’s not fun when we take an honest look at ourselves through God’s eyes, is it? I’ve struggled with some of the same things (i.e. being right, losing my temper with kids). I find asking for forgiveness from my toddler shows her the right thing to do when we make mistakes. Forgiveness sets us free to live as He intended. Wonderful post.

    Reply
    • Erin, I agree. I try to be real with my kids as well. They know that mommy isn’t perfect and has to be humble and ask for forgiveness, too. Thanks for reading!! I love your blog!

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  4. Powerful and Awesome post. Today, I needed that. Thank you.

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    • Thank you, Marcy!!!

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  5. This is such an important topic, Dana. My pastor spoke about forgiveness a couple of weeks ago and said how he has friends in the counseling ministry. He said one of the most common reasons for depression is lack of forgiveness. I’d never heard this statistic before, but I believe it. It certainly kept me in a dark pit for a long time. Thanks for sharing the truth here, friend. The forgiveness really isn’t about the other person, anyway; it’s for our own good.

    Reply
    • Thanks, Abby. It is such a HUGE topic. I had never heard about depression being linked to unforgiveness, but I believe it. I know that by refusing forgiveness, even when no one apologized, I was hurting myself so much more. When I chose to let go, I felt so light! Thank you for the encouragement!

      Reply
  6. One of the hardest things we have to do, and yet the minute we do brings such freedom. Forgiving, and being forgiven, are the chance to repeat the same gift He extends to us. Mercy, grace, forgiveness. So important.
    So glad for your beautiful reminder and your open heart, Dana :)

    Reply
    • Thank you, Christine.

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  7. Words from Psalm 51–Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me–was set to music some years back. My heart’s desire is to forgive others as I have been forgiven; it’s a mindset to practice forgiveness every day. Your growth and acknowledgment of God’s work in your life is beautifully expressed in today’s blog. Blessings, GMA

    Reply
    • Thanks for reading, Grandma! I love that song so much!!

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  8. Forgiveness is such an important topic, and you covered it so beautifully. Such a wonderful reminder that we can freely forgive because of how much we have been forgiven! Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom, Dana! God bless, Tina

    Reply
    • Thank you for your comment, Tina. It made me smile today.

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  9. “since He offers us quick and complete forgiveness, we have to turn and forgive others just as quick and complete.” Whew that can be hard. You have written on such an life changing topic. Forgiveness is for all of us. We must choose it. Every day, every hour. Eventually, with God’s grace, we begin to feel the change.

    Thanks Dana for your transparency. ~visiting today from #DanceWithJesus

    Reply
    • Thanks for reading, Carmen. I love your blog. Isn’t God’s grace to us just amazing? It is hard to turn and give it to others, but the powerful thing is that when we do turn and give it, we are even more filled! Wow! Thank you.

      Reply
  10. You’re so right, Dana, about how we don’t bring our best to our families, and worse, to Jesus. He offers me forgiveness every single day in so many ways. I pray I can do the same for those around me. Thank you for your encouragement. Visiting from #RaRaLinkup

    Reply
    • Thanks for the encouragement, Katy. I enjoyed your blog this week!

      Reply

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